who's the awkward one now?

as you have probably figured out, i love awkward moments, live for them, at times, even seek out these muscle-cringing experiences. most of the time, i am fully aware--at least i think i am--that what i am doing, or the situation i am in, is uncomfortable and take it all in. what i am slowly realizing, however, is that some chinese people put my awkwardness to shame, but don't even realize they possess such an empowering attribute.

two examples:
a. i was working at a cafe, and the woman sitting next to me asked to look at my work. i handed her my material, and thought after a few minutes she would simply return it and we would both continue with our respective activities. well, just moments later, she pulled a chair up to my table and began drilling me about my chinese. we hit an awkward silence, so i signaled that i should continue working, once again thinking she would head out. but, no... instead she told me she wanted to watch me work. whaaaaat? so...i...did. it was weird. about twenty minutes later, she asked for my email address and left. while i was tempted to give her the address i usually give people i don't actually want to hear from again--hrosen@middlebury.edu--but i decided that was not necessary. still haven't heard from her though...should i be insulted?

2. a few weeks later, the SAME thing happened, except this time instead of studying, i was running on a treadmill. so yeah, i was just getting my treadmill on, and this little chinese staff lady came to my side. i removed my headphones, and said hello. after returning the greeting, she just stood there...watching me. i had NO idea what to do. so...i...kept running. a minute later she reached over and increased my elevation. um, thanks? then, she left. i thought i was in the clear, but, once again, was mistaken. instead, she came back with some paper towels so i could wipe off my sweat. um, thanks? after 13 minutes of her staring and periodically jumping up and down due to excitement(?), i cruised over to the rowing machine. she squatted down next to me and then just started talking and talking and talking...'i want to speak english with you! oh! but i can't! it's too bad! hehe! i want to take you to my hometown with my boyfriend! hehe! you are so tall, i am trying to grow taller--good luck with that girlfriend--hehe! etc...' after ten minutes, i gave in and we exchanged cell phone numbers. i have since received many text messages from her, asking me when i'm going to return. (un)fortunately, i threw out my back--the same thing happened to me just two days before the production of 'hair' sophomore year of high school. i was bed ridden for a full day and was deathly terrified i wouldn't be able to star in the musical as 'no-name tribe member #7'. but, alas, stole that fucking show--so haven't been back in a few days. as for that trip with her and her boyfriend, i'm thinking about it...

annnnd, totally unrelated to china....today is a glorious day for chicagoans all over the world. after two long, liver-less years, the city council finally reversed the ban on foie gras. now i can look forward to eating a 'joe moore/tom tunney' when i get home...
hot doug's: 1 chicago: 0

wings and orange short-shorts...yeah, you know what i'm talking about...

i'm sure you've heard about it. yellow fever, asiaphilia, jungle fever, yellow plague. call it what you want, it's a phenomena that has swept the western hemisphere since the implementation of the open door policy. i remember the first time i encountered it. ah, yes, 'twas the summer of 2005 when i was working at mamacita's mexican restaurant (r.i.p.) in boystown. a few hours after the gay pride parade, this short white dude walked in and asked for a table for eight. after seating them i noticed that the group consisted of the aforementioned white man and seven asian men, and that the baller's shirt read: once you go asian, you never go back to caucasian. it was an earth-shattering moment.

i digress.

since i started studying chinese i have met a lot of guys with 'yellow fever'... not a surprise there, but then there's my friend luke. i guess you could say luke has 'yellow phobia', in that, he is actually kind of scared of asian temptresses. when around them he gets awkward and nervous, it's really quite entertaining. so, we thought, what better way to celebrate his big 21st birthday than take him to 'hooters hangzhou'. below is a video from our celebration. it speaks for itself. i leave you with this: as the wise michael scott once said, "why do i like hooters? well i will give you two reasons, the boobs and the hot wings."

what you should know before watching the video: luke is wearing red. our waitress' name was shakira. and nik wears his hat like my father.