who's the awkward one now?

as you have probably figured out, i love awkward moments, live for them, at times, even seek out these muscle-cringing experiences. most of the time, i am fully aware--at least i think i am--that what i am doing, or the situation i am in, is uncomfortable and take it all in. what i am slowly realizing, however, is that some chinese people put my awkwardness to shame, but don't even realize they possess such an empowering attribute.

two examples:
a. i was working at a cafe, and the woman sitting next to me asked to look at my work. i handed her my material, and thought after a few minutes she would simply return it and we would both continue with our respective activities. well, just moments later, she pulled a chair up to my table and began drilling me about my chinese. we hit an awkward silence, so i signaled that i should continue working, once again thinking she would head out. but, no... instead she told me she wanted to watch me work. whaaaaat? so...i...did. it was weird. about twenty minutes later, she asked for my email address and left. while i was tempted to give her the address i usually give people i don't actually want to hear from again--hrosen@middlebury.edu--but i decided that was not necessary. still haven't heard from her though...should i be insulted?

2. a few weeks later, the SAME thing happened, except this time instead of studying, i was running on a treadmill. so yeah, i was just getting my treadmill on, and this little chinese staff lady came to my side. i removed my headphones, and said hello. after returning the greeting, she just stood there...watching me. i had NO idea what to do. so...i...kept running. a minute later she reached over and increased my elevation. um, thanks? then, she left. i thought i was in the clear, but, once again, was mistaken. instead, she came back with some paper towels so i could wipe off my sweat. um, thanks? after 13 minutes of her staring and periodically jumping up and down due to excitement(?), i cruised over to the rowing machine. she squatted down next to me and then just started talking and talking and talking...'i want to speak english with you! oh! but i can't! it's too bad! hehe! i want to take you to my hometown with my boyfriend! hehe! you are so tall, i am trying to grow taller--good luck with that girlfriend--hehe! etc...' after ten minutes, i gave in and we exchanged cell phone numbers. i have since received many text messages from her, asking me when i'm going to return. (un)fortunately, i threw out my back--the same thing happened to me just two days before the production of 'hair' sophomore year of high school. i was bed ridden for a full day and was deathly terrified i wouldn't be able to star in the musical as 'no-name tribe member #7'. but, alas, stole that fucking show--so haven't been back in a few days. as for that trip with her and her boyfriend, i'm thinking about it...

annnnd, totally unrelated to china....today is a glorious day for chicagoans all over the world. after two long, liver-less years, the city council finally reversed the ban on foie gras. now i can look forward to eating a 'joe moore/tom tunney' when i get home...
hot doug's: 1 chicago: 0

bouncing dance floor, hidden dragon

i am glad to report that i have successfully infiltrated the chinese gay scene, and i couldn't be happier. i don't know where my comfort level with gay guys originates from--maybe my cousin chrissy? oh wait, was that a secret?!-- but, regardless, dancing with gay guys is, well, just fun. i have yet to make it to the legendary roscoes in chicago, but for the time being jundu, the gay bar we found in hangzhou has hit the spot. aesthetically speaking, this little dance club looks more like a hole-in-the-wall dive bar you might have stumbled upon in bucktown ten years ago--at least how i imagine bucktown pre-real world/yuppie invasion. the dance floor is pretty small, and while watching the skinny men with shirts pulled up past their stomachs dance, it was hard not to snicker at how their heads/bodies amazingly bounced in sync. well, that was until we ventured onto the floor and realized that it was not suspended into the ground..whaaaat? yeah, i know, increddddible...a little dangerous, but nonetheless absolutely fantabulous. let's just hope that a bouncing dance floor is in the works for the mccullough social space renovation...it would become a freshman heaven on earth.

the day after this groundbreaking discovery--more on earth-shattering activity later--ann, chynna and i headed to the anji bamboo forest, the location of 'crouching tiger, hidden dragon'. rumor has it this place was untouched ten years ago, therefore making it an ideal spot for the film, but leave it to the chinese to completely transform such a pristine area into a crazy tourist site. below are pictures that show the pretty and the hilarious sides of anji...

we ventured off the stair trail...if we had gotten in trouble, we planned on pulling out the "i don't speak chinese" foreigner-card...

greeeeeeen

chynna: warrior or monkey? you decide

because hiking is just too tiring...

roller-coaster type slide...because hiking is just too tiring...

ok, so they had a blow-up human-sized hamster wheel on water. i couldn't say no. but let me tell you, that shit was hard, as seen in the sequence below...

making my way up...

success!

balls!

finally, some of you may have heard about the earthquake that hit sichuan today. apparently it was felt all over china, hangzhou included--i was feeling under the weather and i think slept through it. i still don't know how bad the damage was in sichuan, but aside from a few swaying buildings, nothing serious occurred here, so no need to worry. k, that was almost too serious for me, so have a look at my new boyfriend...i heart comb-overs.

a second reference to 'newsies'

hola, amigos. what do you hear? i know it's been a long time since i rapped at ya, but i been dragging my ass through the routine. the past few weeks have been both monotonous and crazy at the same time...possible? yes. school work has yet to slow down, and with four weeks left, it seems like it never will. so yeah, not fun. buuuuut, i have also had two crapulous--great word, yeah?--nights recently...one in shanghai, one in hangzhou. highlight was when chynna and i ended up at a gay bar dancing with shirtless brits and malaysians in shanghai... yeaaaah college, no parents, ice cream for breakfast!

in other news, summer has hit hangzhou. surprisingly, hangzhou-ians/ans/ers(?) still wear long sleeve shirts and pants, but accessorize the look with the 'sun' umbrella. the past week has brought out more umbrellas than an indian summer monsoon. it's awesome, suddenly rihanna's song is multi-functional. this weather has also led to my increased usage of tad. while riding that little guy is effing sweet, i sorely miss cruising in lloyd, my fantastically ugly turquoise subaru legacy wagon. in order to fill this void in my heart, i have put aside my pride and dignity and started singing like a fool while tearing through the streets. i don't know if it's fate, or all in my head, but i swear every time i hit a scenic bridge or the sun peeks out from behind the clouds, the song hits the chorus and, therefore, the crescendo of the my life-movie montage. top three: 'sunday bloody sunday', 'unwritten' and 'carrying the banner'. the last is the best...each time i hear the line 'we need a good assassination!' i think of that epic jack kelly pelvic thrust.

finally, today i tried to make breakfast--egg/toad in a hole--and failed miserably...big surprise there. *update* apparently in new jersey they call this fine delicacy "rocky mountain toast"...i don't understand...jersey, they would.

the road not taken

so i was trying to find a particular chinese movie online, and instead stumbled upon this. enjoy.

http://www.56.com/u78/v_MTM3NzkxOTU.html

"china's loyal youth"

hey all- check out this article from the april 13 nytimes.... it pretty much hits spot on the current attitudes of chinese college/college-aged folk. gives a more in-depth/not-awkward (sorry, sorry) look at what i've been experiencing here.

annnnd... speaking of governments that control media...

to stick up / to rise on one end / to tilt

yesterday my roommate told me she liked my butt, gave it a little slap and said it was 很翘 ('qiao'-see title).... i don't even know what to say, except that i guess it's a nice break from the usual 'maeve, you don't have an ass'.

chynna tales

meet chynna--not to be confused with chyna, the professional wrestler--and yep,that is her real name annnd she's studying chinese in china. destiny, no? well, she has racked up her fair share of some pretty savage stories, which i wanted to share with y'all.

so first of all, yeah, the whole name thing really confuses people here. best encounter with some dood in a bar:
hi, what's your name?
chynna?
oh...ha, that's a good one.
no, really, my name is chynna.
ohhhh, nice to meet you, i'm japan.
and then the fucker walked away. keep up the good fight girlfriend.

second chynna story. she overheard a conversation between a little boy and an old man. here's what was said:
old man: no, that's not a cat. that's not a cat. it's a lady!

final tale:
chynna has wicked game. she met a young chinese bachelor on a campus bench, and they got to talking. turns out, the chinese guy absolutely loved national treasure2, and insisted on lending her his copy. well, a week later, what do you know, they made a date. a dinner date. picture this, and boys, take note: a tuesday night, er, afternoon, 4:30 in the school cafeteria...that's hot. not only did they talk about movies, buuuut tv as well! he's a rachel-guy, which led to a debate as chynna leans toward chandler. wow, nothing like an sexy affair in a foreign country, eh? once again, keep up the good fight girlfriend.

ok. more of my stories later. ps my roommate has some sort of vegetable-meat dish that has been hanging out in our room all afternoon and it's raining which means the sliding door has been shut all day...i might vomit.