Sunday, July 6, 2008

lip my stocking

hola amigos. what's the deal? i know it's been a long time since i've rapped at ya, but the health fairy ain't been dropping dolla bills under my pillow these days. i caught some sort of bug last week, which left me coughin, sweatin, and not sleepin. but, now, the clouds are starting to part and the suns a shinin. so, anyways, now that all your burgers have been grilled, hot dogs charred, potato salads picked at, ya'll might be wondering, how the hell do you celebrate fourth of july in china. well, children, here's one way:

ok, first, i gotta give a brief introduction. i don't know if i have mentioned this already or not, but i seriously believe that the movie 'lost in translation' played a major role in my decision to study chinese. i'm not a fool, i know the movie takes place in tokyo, but chinese is just so hip these days, i caught the sino-fever. i remember watching it for the first time, though, and there was something about those neon lights and how out of place bill and scarlet looked/felt that pulled me in. and, the karaoke scene, of course. i mean, who wouldn't want to wear a pink wig, sing epic ballads off tune with local asian friends. so yeah, that has been a major fantasy of mine for some time.

flash forward: july 4, 2008. chynna and i check out the terracotta soldiers in the morning. i feel awful. no appetite, my head is pounding and my bowels are just being cruel to me. fourth of july is looking grimm for maeve. by the afternoon, after some advil and rest, i'm feeling much better. we start playing some pool--we have one rule this summer: whenever we see a pool table, we have to play. it's been awesome--when all of a sudden a group of chinese girls walk in and chynna gets really excited. you see, these ladies are not just any chinese broads, but in fact, the chicks that chynna met the night before when i had gone to be wicked early. chynna had been reading in the hostel bar/cafe area when the aforementioned group started talking to her. eventually, they asked her if she 'liked girls'. apparently they assumed that we were a lesbian couple travelling around together. after chynna laughed-- we are fully aware that we do indeed look like a gay couple. in fact, we have decided that the title of my memoir will be: 'my summer in china; or how i became a lesbian'... we're still working on the spelling...--she returned the question to which she received a positive response. our first real chinese friends=a group of lesbians... yes! so, they came back on the 4th and, wait for it, took us out to KTV (karaoke in private rooms)! really, no words to describe the euphoria. no offense america, but i don't think your silly little barbeques, parades and sparklers will ever rival pouring my heart out to whitney and celine, wearing a pink wig (!) and bonding with a group of dope chinese lesbians. bob harris would have been proud.

whew. long. ok. so tonight we begin our journey west... starting with a 16-hour train ride in hard seaters. glory god help me!


一楠亚夏 said...

are you chineseman?or someone who in china now?i adore your blog!it's interest!

chicanohek said...

ha ha ha....lip my stocking....that has got to be the most awkward scene in the whole movie...the scene for me that represents china would be where Bob is at the photo shoot and the director gives him a 2 minute rant on what he wants him to do...then the translator simply says, "move like this"....that has happened to me on numerous occasions!